Ugh. I really was going to try and NOT do the sporadic updates. Then Cats happened. Closes this weekend and I can finally find myself again. No more legwarmers.

avengangle I suck. And yes, dinner one of these nights would rock. ♥

The Good
• Got a couple of scholarship offers. No more acceptances which is worrisome. But at least I have someplace.
• Who is continuing to eat my brain. In answer to the questions from the last post? I'm all the way through s1 now. I did things out of order to watch Jack's character arc so NOW am going back through to watch the whole thing. Who is LOVE. And I'm just sorry I was this stubborn for THIS long. Oi.
• Am now the proud owner of a 1950s RAF officer's greatcoat. I've been watching for them for YEARS and finally found one that will fit. And will be LONG.
• Weight watch: 203ish. So I've hit about the 30 lbs lost mark, give or take.

The Bad
• Yes, guess who is sick. ME! And this is on top of mother being deathly ill this past week too. Stayed home from work. Am about to go into the doc's and have bloodwork taken. JOY AND RAPTURE. Only not.
• Got Dinged by American two days ago. And their letter was RUDE. In not so many words they basically said "Yes, we saw your softs. But we look at LSATs and while some people could be successful even with low numbers, we don't think you will. Go to hell."

The Ugly
• Case Western. Sending me a package with a BIG-ASS WHITE ENVELOPE with the opening lines of "Thank you for your recent application to CWRU. On behalf of Dean Robert Rawson and our faculty and staff, I am pleased to provide you with the latest Admissions Bulletin for the school of law." Bastard. Don't start out a "here's info on the school" letter like a damned Acceptance letter. And people wonder why lawyers are jackasses.


♥ Finally getting back to my computer and starting to catch up with my flist. I know I haven't been commenting as much as I normally do, and I'm sorry. It's feeling like the old mental issues of lurking and hiding are creeping up. Which is one of the reasons I'm seeing the doc today and have them check my thyroid levels. My mood swings lately have been wretched. ♥ I love you guys. Seriously.

And, too, if you're having a bad day -- or even a good day! -- and want a hug from Lia, all comments to this post come with hugs. Just sayin'.

I'm going to say this here as I went on a self-imposed hiatus for the past couple of weeks. I needed the time to clear my head. I will get to commenting to my last post. Those who did... thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you and your support. ♥

And now! This month's daily_deviant fic! w00t!

Title: While the Cat's Away...
Author: thescarletwoman
Characters: Narcissa, Bellatrix
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: toys, incest, lingeire
Themes/kinks chosen: Adultery
Word Count: ~2100
Summary: Lucius may have his 'whatevers'... but Narcissa has her Bella.
Author's notes: It's been a while since I've had the chance to write femme and the theme fit it perfectly. Thanks to jateshi for the uberly speedy beta!

( ...the Mice Will Play )

This has just been... such a crap week. Scratch that, a crap year.

Seriously. Where's that restart button.

I'm actually really thankful I have a meeting with my therapist tomorrow to do some unloading. ♥ I appreciate all the offers to chat but there are times when in person is just... it's different. I've tried talking to my parents about Anj, but they just don't get it. I think it's a generational thing, really.

They see her as an acquaintance and several times when I've tried to talk to them about it, I get corrected when I refer to her as a friend. In their minds, because I never sat down and had coffee with her, she's not a 'true friend'. Did we exchange a boat-load of IMs? No. But we made a connection, and sometimes that's all that matters.

On top of that... my grandfather's in the hospital. Those of you who have been around here for a while know there's... not much love lost with him anymore. He's now speaking to us... it's been over a year since we exchanged words after he hung up on my mother after telling her twice to 'shut up'. How HE remembers it... he called THREE months ago and tried to tell mom that he fell and she wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise. Which is a total lie. But now he's ill and has been in and out of hospital for the past couple of weeks. I honestly don't know how I feel about this, but I see how it's tearing dad apart right now. He hates his father with a passion, yet he still is his father and my dad has to deal with all of this. On top of that, my uncle and the woman he cheated on my aunt with and married two years ago (her fifth, his fourth marriage) -- are now on the outs.

There's family stress. There's me not really being able to mourn the way I need to mourn.

This gets easier, right?

♥♥ in case I haven't told you guys lately -- I love you all. I honestly and truly do.

First of all: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

That's all I can say right now. I've been re-reading comments from you guys on my writing post and am... well, gobsmacked. You guys have seriously left me speechless. I didn't post that in seeking out pats on the back and I nearly did disable comments. But...

I'm without words. I'm slowly trying to form responses to you guys so they are coming. I just didn't want the weekend to come without saying thank you. It's been a really low couple of weeks for me and the encouragment... was exactly what I needed to hear.

So in short -- here's a massive thank you to the flist. ♥

In other news? I got the first good night's sleep in I don't know how long. melatonin=love. Seriously.

Also have a gig this weekend! Huzzah! and paying too but shhhhh. that's on the dl. The conductor flew in from Germany yesterday and worked with the little chamber ensemble for about an hour. It's a baroque piece (yay BW and their Bach love)... and the conductor complimented me not only on my playing but how excellent I was playing the music stylistically. Never thought I'd say this but... Thank you Dwight Oltman.

I have a massively long thank-you post that is forthcoming. But right now I just want to say thank you to you guys. This past week and a few days have been so very, very rough -- and I just want to thank you all for your support. I'm doing better and the memorial service was lovelyl

I'm still in mourning for him and I know I will be for a while. I just want to thank all of you for your support this past week. It absolutely means the world to me.

For those of you new to my journal -- no, it really isn't that depressing, I promise! In fact -- here's a bit of fun and friendly competition!

Support Team Phoenix!

Go Team Phoenix! So much better than Team Iguana Dragon. Really... a lizard?

First of all, thanks guys for the comments on my last post. It did help in the cheering up. I have to go back and comment to you guys, but really -- just know that you all rock in the cheering-up category. ♥

And it's official! I now have Ubuntu! *dance o'joy* thanks to avengangle's boy, I now have two pretty shiny operating systems on my computer. And really, I cannot see myself going back to XP. I know I'll have to in order to run certain programs of mine (Like Finale, Sims if I ever start playing again, etc...) but I simply love the interface and the functionability of Ubuntu. It's... an OS for computer geeks and when you need help with something, it's other computer geeks helping you out. It's simply brilliant.

Also -- if anyone knows of a client a la semagic that will update IJ/LJ (preferably simultaneously) please let me know!

In other news, am currently sick as a dog. I called in sick to work yesterday which I was thankfully able to do as we're basically caught up with editing. My head is still stuffed up and I feel like I'm coughing up a lung. YAY SINUS INFECTION!

Only... not.